what self-care looks like for the sandwich generation (and it’s not what you think)what self-care looks like for the sandwich generation (and it’s not what you think)what self-care looks like for the sandwich generation (and it’s not what you think) - o

by:Kingcobra     2019-09-14
what self-care looks like for the sandwich generation (and it’s not what you think)what self-care looks like for the sandwich generation (and it’s not what you think)what self-care looks like for the sandwich generation (and it’s not what you think)  -  one way car alarm
It was too late for me to have children, so when I experienced early menopause three years after my second child was born, I realized that I had waited so long.
To be honest, I'm not ready to have a baby a minute before I do.
Now, while my child's peers have mothers in their 30 s, I'm in the second half of my 40 s.
I am also the only child of my 70 s parents, putting me firmly in the sandwich generation: taking care of elderly parents while raising young children.
I don't have time to crash.
Too dependent on me.
My husband and I are raising two children.
Including a severely disabled person.
My job is more than just a complete one.
I often work on business trips.
As I grew older, I was no longer as energetic as I used to be.
It's not easy to make time for anything, even my parents.
However, I do not want to give up the role of caregiver;
I'm looking for ways to manage it, and also trying to stop my daughter from ending one day in the same place.
My parents are typical members of the silent generation, who are in their 70 s.
They never complained or asked anyone for help.
But the life of stoogism has come at a cost, and long-term neglect of their health and other needs is catching up with them.
They imagine the golden age of Caribbean cruises, in the afternoon at the museum, in the evening at the theater, and in their favorite restaurant.
They work hard all their lives.
But instead of staying here now, they live at home.
Aging is never beautiful, and it is very unfriendly in my father's case.
He was troubled by medical problems one after another.
His eyesight is not good enough. he can't read or go out alone.
Because without him, my mother would not go anywhere and would stay at home unless one of them made an appointment for a doctor.
The lack of excitement in sitting at home makes them feel depressed, confused and disinterested.
I was sad to see this undignified decline.
When my father was in the hospital, I was in his room and camped beside my mother.
When he was at home, I called every day.
I will visit when I can, bring dinner or dessert, photos of my kids, their artwork.
I talk endlessly about my children, my work, the books I 've read, the movies I 've seen, the cities I 've been.
I propose to buy groceries, make an appointment, drive around or entertain them at our house to change the landscape.
My mother acquiesced occasionally.
But I'm always tired.
Some nights I tried to go to bed early, but after a while I sighed and got up again and was troubled by everything I had not done.
There is no need to set the alarm when I finally get back to bed;
I will get up a long time earlier than others in order to have a good start on this day.
I don't pretend to be a Wonder Woman, saving everyone around me.
But before I can do anything for others, I need to put on my own oxygen mask.
There's probably nothing I can do to stop what's going on with my parents, but there's a lot I can do to stop my eldest daughter from being in this position one day.
I have more motivation: our eldest daughter may one day take care of her sister who has a severe neurological disability. Self-
My friend reminded me to be careful.
But what is that?
Some days, I was at a loss. I wanted to eat takeaway Chinese food when I was overeating --
Watching Netflix from the sofa
Social media posts from my peers are either wine meme or check
Weekend spa with massage, personal trainer and mojito-laced brunches. Self-care!
The subtitles exclaimed.
Mom needs to relax!
But I don't know how to relax.
I broke down when I tried.
I need to rethink myself.
Be careful for my children.
What do I have to do now to show up when my parents need me and minimize the care I need later?
I told myself I would if someone was worth checking out.
How about a cocktail or a pint of ice cream?
Come on, one can't hurt!
But I don't know how to have only one and go down to the level of avoidance and self
Unfortunately, it's definitely not yourself. care for me.
That is neglect.
So I got our things set up.
We have made a real estate plan with all the possible circumstances in mind.
Each of us has a medical agent, and we have allocated a power of attorney that is lasting.
I increase my retirement account every year.
We go to see a doctor regularly, including a health check-up.
We take our medicine and vitamins.
We exercise, we discuss, we plan.
Then I sleep: I have an AIDS array that includes essential oil diffuser and lavender-
Sleep Mask with fragrance, Do Not Disturb function on my mobile phone and so on.
There was a Ativan when I was desperate.
Anyway, I got a break.
When I had time on the weekend and the kids were so busy, I had a boring salad and went to a yoga class.
Or I clean the drawer.
I turned over on the sofa with a cup of tea and read a novel.
When the kids were on the school bus, I had an hour before my first work meeting, and my husband and I sometimes walked.
When I travel for work, I meditate on the plane or on the train.
When I have time, we will travel.
Sometimes it's the whole family, sometimes it's me and my husband, or it's a special weekend for me and one or two of my girls.
That's what I did. care.
These things may not be suitable for the social media public, but they are good for my thoughts, body and spirit.
They attract me physically and cognitively, and keep me in the moment as I focus on the future.
Because I also want to spend my retirement time outside the cruise ship, theater and dinner, I want my daughter to live a full life with any family she chooses, not caught in the middle by the needs of elderly parents.
It was too late for me to have children, so when I experienced early menopause three years after my second child was born, I realized that I had waited so long.
To be honest, I'm not ready to have a baby a minute before I do.
Now, while my child's peers have mothers in their 30 s, I'm in the second half of my 40 s.
I am also the only child of my 70 s parents, putting me firmly in the sandwich generation: taking care of elderly parents while raising young children.
I don't have time to crash.
Too dependent on me.
My husband and I are raising two children.
Including a severely disabled person.
My job is more than just a complete one.
I often work on business trips.
As I grew older, I was no longer as energetic as I used to be.
It's not easy to make time for anything, even my parents.
However, I do not want to give up the role of caregiver;
I'm looking for ways to manage it, and also trying to stop my daughter from ending one day in the same place.
I don't pretend to be a Wonder Woman, saving everyone around me.
But before I can do anything for others, I need to put on my own oxygen mask.
My parents are typical members of the silent generation, who are in their 70 s.
They never complained or asked anyone for help.
But the life of stoogism has come at a cost, and long-term neglect of their health and other needs is catching up with them.
They imagine the golden age of Caribbean cruises, in the afternoon at the museum, in the evening at the theater, and in their favorite restaurant.
They work hard all their lives.
But instead of staying here now, they live at home.
Aging is never beautiful, and it is very unfriendly in my father's case.
He was troubled by medical problems one after another.
His eyesight is not good enough. he can't read or go out alone.
Because without him, my mother would not go anywhere and would stay at home unless one of them made an appointment for a doctor.
The lack of excitement in sitting at home makes them feel depressed, confused and disinterested.
I was sad to see this undignified decline.
When my father was in the hospital, I was in his room and camped beside my mother.
When he was at home, I called every day.
I will visit when I can, bring dinner or dessert, photos of my kids, their artwork.
I talk endlessly about my children, my work, the books I 've read, the movies I 've seen, the cities I 've been.
I propose to buy groceries, make an appointment, drive around or entertain them at our house to change the landscape.
My mother acquiesced occasionally.
But I'm always tired.
Some nights I tried to go to bed early, but after a while I sighed and got up again and was troubled by everything I had not done.
There is no need to set the alarm when I finally get back to bed;
I will get up a long time earlier than others in order to have a good start on this day.
I don't pretend to be a Wonder Woman, saving everyone around me.
But before I can do anything for others, I need to put on my own oxygen mask.
There's probably nothing I can do to stop what's going on with my parents, but there's a lot I can do to stop my eldest daughter from being in this position one day.
I have more motivation: our eldest daughter may one day take care of her sister who has a severe neurological disability. Self-
My friend reminded me to be careful.
But what is that?
Some days, I was at a loss. I wanted to eat takeaway Chinese food when I was overeating --
Watching Netflix from the sofa
Social media posts from my peers are either wine meme or check
Weekend spa with massage, personal trainer and mojito-laced brunches. Self-care!
The subtitles exclaimed.
Mom needs to relax!
But I don't know how to relax.
I broke down when I tried.
I need to rethink myself.
Be careful for my children.
What do I have to do now to show up when my parents need me and minimize the care I need later?
I told myself I would if someone was worth checking out.
How about a cocktail or a pint of ice cream?
Come on, one can't hurt!
But I don't know how to have only one and go down to the level of avoidance and self
Unfortunately, it's definitely not yourself. care for me.
That is neglect.
So I got our things set up.
We have made a real estate plan with all the possible circumstances in mind.
Each of us has a medical agent, and we have allocated a power of attorney that is lasting.
I increase my retirement account every year.
We go to see a doctor regularly, including a health check-up.
We take our medicine and vitamins.
We exercise, we discuss, we plan.
Then I sleep: I have an AIDS array that includes essential oil diffuser and lavender-
Sleep Mask with fragrance, Do Not Disturb function on my mobile phone and so on.
There was a Ativan when I was desperate.
Anyway, I got a break.
When I had time on the weekend and the kids were so busy, I had a boring salad and went to a yoga class.
Or I clean the drawer.
I turned over on the sofa with a cup of tea and read a novel.
When the kids were on the school bus, I had an hour before my first work meeting, and my husband and I sometimes walked.
When I travel for work, I meditate on the plane or on the train.
When I have time, we will travel.
Sometimes it's the whole family, sometimes it's me and my husband, or it's a special weekend for me and one or two of my girls.
That's what I did. care.
These things may not be suitable for the social media public, but they are good for my thoughts, body and spirit.
They attract me physically and cognitively, and keep me in the moment as I focus on the future.
Because I also want to spend my retirement time outside the cruise ship, theater and dinner, I want my daughter to live a full life with any family she chooses, not caught in the middle by the needs of elderly parents.
It was too late for me to have children, so when I experienced early menopause three years after my second child was born, I realized that I had waited so long.
To be honest, I'm not ready to have a baby a minute before I do.
Now, while my child's peers have mothers in their 30 s, I'm in the second half of my 40 s.
I am also the only child of my 70 s parents, putting me firmly in the sandwich generation: taking care of elderly parents while raising young children.
I don't have time to crash.
Too dependent on me.
My husband and I are raising two children.
Including a severely disabled person.
My job is more than just a complete one.
I often work on business trips.
As I grew older, I was no longer as energetic as I used to be.
It's not easy to make time for anything, even my parents.
However, I do not want to give up the role of caregiver;
I'm looking for ways to manage it, and also trying to stop my daughter from ending one day in the same place.
I don't pretend to be a Wonder Woman, saving everyone around me.
But before I can do anything for others, I need to put on my own oxygen mask.
My parents are typical members of the silent generation, who are in their 70 s.
They never complained or asked anyone for help.
But the life of stoogism has come at a cost, and long-term neglect of their health and other needs is catching up with them.
They imagine the golden age of Caribbean cruises, in the afternoon at the museum, in the evening at the theater, and in their favorite restaurant.
They work hard all their lives.
But instead of staying here now, they live at home.
Aging is never beautiful, and it is very unfriendly in my father's case.
He was troubled by medical problems one after another.
His eyesight is not good enough. he can't read or go out alone.
Because without him, my mother would not go anywhere and would stay at home unless one of them made an appointment for a doctor.
The lack of excitement in sitting at home makes them feel depressed, confused and disinterested.
I was sad to see this undignified decline.
When my father was in the hospital, I was in his room and camped beside my mother.
When he was at home, I called every day.
I will visit when I can, bring dinner or dessert, photos of my kids, their artwork.
I talk endlessly about my children, my work, the books I 've read, the movies I 've seen, the cities I 've been.
I propose to buy groceries, make an appointment, drive around or entertain them at our house to change the landscape.
My mother acquiesced occasionally.
But I'm always tired.
Some nights I tried to go to bed early, but after a while I sighed and got up again and was troubled by everything I had not done.
There is no need to set the alarm when I finally get back to bed;
I will get up a long time earlier than others in order to have a good start on this day.
I don't pretend to be a Wonder Woman, saving everyone around me.
But before I can do anything for others, I need to put on my own oxygen mask.
There's probably nothing I can do to stop what's going on with my parents, but there's a lot I can do to stop my eldest daughter from being in this position one day.
I have more motivation: our eldest daughter may one day take care of her sister who has a severe neurological disability. Self-
My friend reminded me to be careful.
But what is that?
Some days, I was at a loss. I wanted to eat takeaway Chinese food when I was overeating --
Watching Netflix from the sofa
Social media posts from my peers are either wine meme or check
Weekend spa with massage, personal trainer and mojito-laced brunches. Self-care!
The subtitles exclaimed.
Mom needs to relax!
But I don't know how to relax.
I broke down when I tried.
I need to rethink myself.
Be careful for my children.
What do I have to do now to show up when my parents need me and minimize the care I need later?
I told myself I would if someone was worth checking out.
How about a cocktail or a pint of ice cream?
Come on, one can't hurt!
But I don't know how to have only one and go down to the level of avoidance and self
Unfortunately, it's definitely not yourself. care for me.
That is neglect.
So I got our things set up.
We have made a real estate plan with all the possible circumstances in mind.
Each of us has a medical agent, and we have allocated a power of attorney that is lasting.
I increase my retirement account every year.
We go to see a doctor regularly, including a health check-up.
We take our medicine and vitamins.
We exercise, we discuss, we plan.
Then I sleep: I have an AIDS array that includes essential oil diffuser and lavender-
Sleep Mask with fragrance, Do Not Disturb function on my mobile phone and so on.
There was a Ativan when I was desperate.
Anyway, I got a break.
When I had time on the weekend and the kids were so busy, I had a boring salad and went to a yoga class.
Or I clean the drawer.
I turned over on the sofa with a cup of tea and read a novel.
When the kids were on the school bus, I had an hour before my first work meeting, and my husband and I sometimes walked.
When I travel for work, I meditate on the plane or on the train.
When I have time, we will travel.
Sometimes it's the whole family, sometimes it's me and my husband, or it's a special weekend for me and one or two of my girls.
That's what I did. care.
These things may not be suitable for the social media public, but they are good for my thoughts, body and spirit.
They attract me physically and cognitively, and keep me in the moment as I focus on the future.
Because I also want to spend my retirement time outside the cruise ship, theater and dinner, I want my daughter to live a full life with any family she chooses, not caught in the middle by the needs of elderly parents.
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